Somebody set us up the sex bomb!

A little g33k poetry courtesy of Bash.org:

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you

Breathtaking hi-res Okami Wallpapers

Who knew a video game could be this beautiful? These are works of art! I'm tempted to print a few out with a super high-quality photo printer and get them framed.

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Geek/Nerd/Dork quiz

Modern, Cool Nerd 56 % Nerd, 78% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd. Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)! Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 57% on nerdiness You scored higher than 97% on geekosity You scored higher than 56% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

What are they teaching those ASU girls?

Via Overheard In the Office:

Coed #1: He had told me not to do anything special for his birthday. He said to forget he was having a birthday at all. But then he came over, and I could tell that he was down.
Coed #2: Because it was his birthday, and he was thirty.
Coed #1: Yeah.
Coed #2: And he's dating an eighteen-year-old.
Coed #1: Shut up. So then we had sex? And it wasn't, like, the most amazing time, but I faked it. But, like, really over the top? And he was happy the rest of the day!

University & College Avenues
Tempe, Arizona

Honda Fit Tetris Commercial

Honda + Tetris = Awsome geek commercial goodness



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It's Showtime...

...and it's about FUCKING time too. Recently Apple sent out invitations to the press to attend a special keynote address by Steve "Reality Distortion Field" Jobs at the Paris Apple Expo. The invitations simply read "It's Showtime."

Apple has been slacking on product announcements for awhile now. Sure the Nano was cool and the transition to Intel was a much-appreciated speed boost (and one step closer to unifying personal computing), but we haven't seen anything truely exciting or ground-breaking from the Cupertino folks in a long time. iPod Hi-Fi? Nike+iPod? Fun, but please; these are toys.

To be fair, Josh does have a Hi-Fi and while I still think it's overpriced, it does sound pretty damn good, even on batteries. But the point is that nothing really new has come out of Apple for awhile. So when rumors started swirling about a special event on Sept. 12th, the Mac forums lit up with rampant speculation and wild claims. Everything from a Windows Media Center killer, to the iTunes Movie Store, to the fabled "widescreen iPod" and even the near mythical iPhone is being touted as the big announcement.

Well if you filter out all the craziness, most people agree that this is the most likely list of things being introduced:

• Updated iPod Nano - Up to 8GB, metal shell, multiple colors (wait...where have I seen this before?)
  
• iTunes Movie Store - Kinda self-explanatory, but own or rent?
  
• Core 2 Duo - Replacing of the Core Duos with Core 2 Duos in the iMac and MacBook lines
• 23" iMac - Better, faster, stronger
• Mac Mini Refresh - Core Solo getting the axe, Core Duos for both models
• Updated 5th gen iPods - Same price point, but with 40 and 80GB drives
• And one more thing...

Pretty good lineup for a special event. Just about everything seems to be revolving around making a Mac and an iPod the center of your music AND movie experience. But still, nothing revolutionary right?

Wrong.

On Sept. 5th, with no warning, annoucement, or fanfare (and completely surprising, well, EVERYONE), Apple released all new iMacs with Core 2 Duo processers, added a 24" iMac that is HD-capable (i.e. 1080p), reduced the price of the two smaller models, AND refreshed the Mac Mini line while keeping the same price point. Whoa. Oh and did I mention that the 24" iMac is now VESA-compliant? Meaning you can mount it on the wall like any modern plasma or LCD HDTV. And at 24", it's ready to be a prime HD-capable entertainment device.

It's interesting to note that every previous annoucement of new or updated Intel-based Macs was done at either a special event or a normal expor like MacWorld or WWDC. Which begs the question: What could possibly be happening on the 12th that an update of TWO entire computer lines, AND the introduction of a completely new model was deemed too minor to warrant sharing the stage with this unknown annoucement? Whatever it is, it's BIG. Like possibly the biggest thing Apple has done since, well possibly the iPod.

I mean when you have a special event to introduce a battery-powered boombox and an FM tuner and NOTHING ELSE, stiffing the new 24" iMac of anything less than the full Steve Jobs-black-turtleneck-and-jeans treatment means that something is happening that has been in the works for a long time. Something that could be incredible. Something that should have EVERY company in the ENTIRE digital entertainment business SCARED SHITLESS.

Should've turned left at Google Calendar

Ever take a wrong turn while driving and discoverd some cool little shop or restaurant you never would have found otherwise? Sometimes the Internet is like that. Mispell the URL you are typing and usually you get an error. But sometimes it takes you to another site. Often, porn. However every now and then you find some neat little place that makes you wonder just how many hidden gems the Internet has tucked away deep in the server mines.

For example, I was trying to get Gmail. I usually type so fast that I don't notice when I've mispelled something. So when I tried to type "www.gmail.com" I actually typed "www.gamil.com" And what did I find? Well Gamila is a company from that makes a couple of very cool items. An iPod case, and the TeaStick (a very slick tea infuser). Never would have found this site if I hadn't mistyped Gmail. Anyway, just thought I'd share. :)

Video game reviews can kiss my ass

I've had it with game reviewers. I literally can't stand it any more. I've tried so hard to read reviews and believe that I am getting an informed, unbiased analysis of a game. But after reading review after review criticizing the game "Ninety-Nine Nights" for what I consider to be petty and shallow reasons, I've come to the conclusion that game reviews are jaded, arrogant, spoiled, snobbish, and many times just whiny. For example:

"The action starts out completely mindless and wears even thinner as time goes on."
-Gamespot

"Ninety-Nine Nights is a game that is hard to get immersed in and even harder to enjoy."
-IGN.com

"Some irritating design decisions, combined with horrible voice acting and the generally repetitious nature of the action, results in a game with limited appeal for a mass audience."
-1UP.com

The reason I find these types of comments worthless is they seem to come from someone who hasn't spent more than a few hours with a game. That's not enough to give a proper review man! That like taking a new car out for a test drive, and 1/3 of the way through you just stop and say "Ok, I'm going to write a review of this entire car after driving it for 30 min."

I like to believe that they take their time and first flip through the manual to see if there's anything important in there. Is there background story? Character histories? Hey what a concept! Game manuals used to have tons of story and background stuff in there. So if you wanted the complete experience, you had to RTFM!!! Games have moved away from this, but sometimes time and budget constraints force game designers to set up the story and give background on the characters by writing it in the manual rather than making extra cinematics or cut-scenes. "Homeworld" was an excellent example of this. In addition to a rich and deep storyline, there was literally a novella in the manual on the history of the game universe.

The problem is most game reviewers want/need to crank out a review after a few hours of playing the game. They don't have the time or the patience to delve more deeply into a game to try and understand it. They just jump in, start playing and if they don't "get it" within a few minutes, the score suffers and they claim it has a "weak" story. For example, in the game "Ninety-Nine Nights" (N3), one of the main characters Inphyy is lost in the woods and suddenly sees a vision of her older brother, which then chastises her, calling her evil and a coward and that she'll be damned for her actions on the battlefield (on the previous mission she kills enemy civilians during the battle). On it's own, this scene doesn't make much sense and seems out of place. But if you read the manual section about her character, you'll find out that while she puts on a strong exterior, her intense adoration of her brother coupled with being only 17, shows that she is quite fragile and immature.

But this kind of depth is almost unilaterally ignored by the game reviewers because it is not handed to you by the game. Since this is the more modern approach to gaming, it is something that is expected and when a game takes an old-school approach like N3, people complain. True, a game that does nothing to advance the story is grounds for a poor review but not taking the time to understand what is going on before passing judgment is irresponsible at best. I mean everyone has had the experience where you didn't understand a movie the first time, but when it dawns on you realize how much better the movie was.

Bah, I could go on but I still haven't finished N3 yet, so I can't in good conscience continue thrashing the game reviews before I have experienced the entire game myself. But I expect it will be similar. Bottom line: Take any game review with a very large grain of salt. Hell take it with a whole salt lick.

A long time and a new toy...

Ok, so I think a month and a week is a good, long time to wait between posts. Geez, why haven't I updated this? Well I guess my reasoning was that I was in the process of making a major decision about something, and I wanted to make that final before I posted about it. But I got so caught up in the whole thing that I kinda forgot about posting. But I'm back now, so here it goes.

Some people were aware that I was looking for a new car. I actually started looking almost a year ago when I first started my job, but I didn't get far. I started with the new VW Jetta, moved into SUV territory with the Nissan Murano and Xterra, and even toyed with the new Toyota RAV4. But none of those excited me for more than a week or so, which to those who know me well means I'm really not interested. Then Chris got his Mazda RX-8, and I started looking at the Mazda6 and the Mazdaspeed6, which quickly in the same way as the others.

Then after a week of playing "Need for Speed: Most Wanted" on my 360, I decided (just for kicks) to see how much a Porsche 911 or a Carerra GT goes for these days. Needless to say, it was rather pricey. As is the Cayanne (Porsche's SUV), though if you go for the $100k Cayanne Turbo S, you will have the fastest SUV on the road. And I kid you not when I say it's nearly as fast as a 911 Turbo: 0-60 mph in 4.8 seconds. In a fucking SUV. Damn .

But as I was looking at these dream cars that I won't be able to afford for a looooong time, I just happened to notice that, at the bottom of the Cars.com page, were a bunch of Boxsters for under $20k. Sure they were older, but these were hot cars! And I could afford one! An idea started brewing until....


Yup, you're looking at my new 2002 Porsche Boxster S. Traded in my Honda Prelude and got a great deal for it. Only had 33k miles on it too! The Prelude had more than that when I traded it in, so this was a great deal. I'm still a bit stunned that I drive a Porsche. I'm getting used to this as "my car" but it's still hard to wrap my head around. Anyway, here's some pics I took while on a drive up Mt. Lemmon today (like the one above) with Chris (or you can see my Flickr slideshow here):

March Idiotness - The guy with the worst NCAA bracket of all time

Ok, I just HAD to post this story. It...well there are just no words. None. The unbelieveably vast pit of pure incompetence that lurks in this guy's head is just staggering. It must be read to be believed.

March Madness

Now I bet you're expecting me to talk about the Men's NCAA Basketball Tournament, right? While I am thoroughly enjoying the tourney so far (even though my brackets are now totally screwed thanks to LSU's ousting of Duke and Gonzaga's jaw-dropping collapse in the final seconds against UCLA), I am in fact speaking of the Xbox 360 Gamerscore contest between Josh, Brad, and myself.

It's been pretty close between Josh and I the past week, and now that we are entering the home stretch it looks like it might be a photo finish. But Brad is still the dark horse in all this as he has a lot of games that could potentially put him over the top, but we'll just have to wait and see.

To ensure that we don't lose track of the time, I've put a countdown timer on my blog to track how much time we have left. It's set to expire at 12:01 AM April 1, so when you see the words "Game over!", it's done, no more, el fin.

I'm thinking it might be time to rent some games this weekend. Hmm...what to choose.

Fun with the CS lab Nazi

This is the week for funny spam emails. I just recently got this one from none other than the CS Lab Nazi: John P. Cropper:

You have been violating the quota restrictions on
your CS alumni account for CGI space and have now
received 33 warnings.

Your WWW and CGI areas have been removed and your CS
alumni account scheduled for removal in May 2006

John Cropper
CS 'lab' staff

Hmmm...33 warnings, eh? Let's use a little math to determine just how much I care:

(33 warnings - 33 messages from 'root' that were flagged as spam) + 1 annoyed email from Cropper - 1 sarcastically replied to email from Cropper = 0 care level

Frankly, I was tired of the damn "over quota restrictions" emails and I was going to actually do something about it...but then I realized it would be more fun to see how long they would stand for my deliciously obscene quota violations. Turns out that 33 is the magic number where they finally snapped. Looks like I'm losing my alumni account. Gee, I feel real sad you know?

True, I did have my forums running on there but after my time as a CS127a section leader was up, they didn't get used anymore. Plus I can always host them somewhere else if I feel like it.

Pretty fire gym

Ok, the spam e-mails have just started getting wacky now. Not the usual "Increase you penis size with cheap viagra + free ink cartridges!" But getting borderline insane. I mean, it's like they aren't even trying to sell you crap anymore. Now they just have raving lunatics with laptops and access to Babelfsih writing their ads for them. Take a look. Here is a spam e-mail I got a few weeks ago, with the subject line "XP PRO, OFFICE 2003 AND ALL AT ONLY $12-60 EACH, WE GIVE U LICENSE":

side mentioned principle pretty fire gym. here find news wife profession make. latter why black bad light social.
black here thus speaking pride.
my human commit. happened anything yours again.
wife here wife different? sandwich anybody studied bought light immediate, thats is few.
motor commit taught respect wrong, window latter being.

And here's one I got this morning (same subject line):

anybody back window sugar mentioned wrong. corner sandwich edge disappoint anything. miserable happened social?
happened bought again. fascinate added similar side disappoint here,
prison bought sandwich commit somewhere,
studied goes rich wanted.
night supposedto principle. find reference fascinate use, mischievous taught supposedto?

Wow. Just wow.

30 books you should read before you die

Found this through Fark of all places. Apparantly librarians all over Britain were polled about what books everyone should read before they die. Since I think this is a great list, I'm presenting it here. (I've hightlighted books I've read in bold)

1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
2. The Bible
3. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien
4. 1984 by George Orwell
5. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
6. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
7. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
8. All Quiet on the Western Front by E M Remarque
9. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Phillip Pullman
10. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
11. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
12. The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
13. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
14. Tess of the D'urbevilles by Thomas Hardy
15. Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne
16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
17. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
18. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
19. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
20. The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
21. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
22. The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
23. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
24. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
25. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
26. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
27. Middlemarch by George Eliot
28. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
29. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
30. A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzenhitsyn

So I haven't read a lot of these, but I feel good that I've read the top 5 (well not ALL of the Bible, but some if it at least). Looks like I've got some work to do. Oh and here's the original story.

Laser chess? Hell yeah!

Check out this sweet game called Deflexion! It's similar to chess, except some of the pieces have mirrros on them that reflect a laser beam around the board. To win you have to position your pieces (which are Egyptian themed) to strike the other player's pharoh (i.e. checkmate). Only $40 too. Man this would turn a few heads down at Starbucks :-p. Check out the site.

The greatest 4 minutes in basketball history

You hardcore sports fans may disagree with me on this one, but it's because of stuff like this that we play sports:

Edit 2: Haha, looks like it wasn't my fault! Josh just posted that CBS pulled the video! Guess YouTube was getting more views than the CBS stations. I've reposted the video (now it's from CNN). Man this post is the most work I've had to do for awhile.

Edit: Ok, WTF? I just copied and pasted the embedded code from YouTube twice, and for some reason it's working now. Just in case, I've put the link up here.

Let the games begin!

In the spirit of friendly competition such as the Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy, myself and a few friends have decided to have a little Xbox 360 contest. As most people know, the new Xbox Live has a point system that awards players points for achieving certain goals in different games. These goals are called Achievements, and the points earned are called Gamer Points.

Now this whole thing started when Josh got his 360 first and started earning points. I got mine about two months later and, after some marathon sessions on Call of Duty 2, passed him up. And since both of us are naturally competitive when it comes to games, we decided "What the hell! Let's have a real contest! Most points by some date wins." The prize? A whole bunch of Microsoft points (not the same as Gamer Points), which are the currency used in the Xbox Live Marketplace to buy Xbox Live Arcade games, Xbox Live Dashboard skins, and gamer pictures. We even managed to get Brad to join (with a 2000 point handicap since he started late). So, here are the terms, prizes, etc.:

• The contest ends at 12:01 AM, April 1st 2006. Any points earned after that time will not be counted.
• The contest consists of Mike Deats (SQUIDwarrior), Brad Dux (IcedError) and Josh Schlag (schlizzag).
  
• The winner will be determined by whomever has the most points by the date stated above.
• Each participant will put 1600 Microsoft points (equivalent to approx. $20) into the pot, winner takes all.
  
• Co-op points are allowed (i.e. co-op missions in Perfect Dark Zero or Kameo, either with each other or with other gamers.
  
• Trash-talking is highly encouraged.
• Mike will pwn you all.

Ok, I added that last bit but it is in accordance with the trash-talking rule.

So that's it. There's a little over a month to go and so far it's been a blast! There's still lots to go so make sure you keep up and may the best gamer win!

Dreams really can come true...

Many people know that one of my all-time favorite games is a little-known gem known as System Shock 2 (SS2. WARNING! This link has plot spoilers, so be warned!). It was released in 1999 and continues the story of "the Hacker" (you) from the original System Shock game (1993). SS2 won many Game of the Year titles in 1999, and it almost always shows up on "Greatest Games of All Time" lists (PC Gamer had it as number #5). It's mixture of atmosphere, plot, unique challenges and character-driven storytelling, plus some mind-bending plot twists, make it one of the most original and breathtaking games ever pressed to a CD. In fact, 7 years later, there is still an active (even rabid) fan base that is still creating new maps, missions, and even upgrading the graphics and gameplay models.

I first played SS2 around 2002 I think. My roommates at the time said "Ok, you HAVE to play this game. You have to play it in the dark, alone, with either surround sound or some serious headphones. And you have to play it loud." So I did. And boy, once I got about half-an-hour into the game, I began to become afraid. I was literally TERRIFIED at times. Never has a game made me so paranoid or edgy in my entire life. There were times that I felt that my own life was in mortal danger; that the game was trying to kill ME. I kid you not. I think these quotes from Gamespot's "Greatest Games of All Time" write up about SS2 really sums up what made SS2 so great:

The game was scary. Damn scary. And this isn't schlocky-horror-movie-style monster-closet scary, where the bogeyman jumps out at you when you least expect it. Shock 2 projected real psychological terror through the tragic grotesquery of the formerly human enemies, the urgency and grim portent of the crew members' audio logs, and the unparalleled sound design that brought the menace and forebodingness of the Von Braun to horrible life.

... Sometimes characters are betrayed, but the player never is. I wanted to violate that trust and make the player feel that they, and not [only] the character, were led on and deceived." - Ken Lavine, General Manager, Irrational Games

System Shock introduced what is, in my opinion, the most incredible villain in gaming history: The female AI SHODAN (WARNING! This link has spoilers, though they aren't too bad. You have been warned). Most villains in video games are simply trying to kill you, and so you try and kill them back. SHODAN was much more insidious than that. She was manipulative, scheming, and unquestioningly evil. I remember one part where you have an uneasy alliance as you're both trying not to die, and she provides you with some supplies to help you with your mission (essentially enhancements to your cybernetic implants). During this particular chapter, you find an empty storage compartment with the door stuck half open. Since your weapons are constantly deteriorating and you have very limited ammo, you tend to explore everything you can (you will never be as excited over finding 5 bullets as you are in SS2, trust me). As you approach the room, SHODAN pipes up to warn you (rather menacingly) that you are running out of time and need to get on with your mission. You now have a choice. Do you enter the compartment and explore, or do you obey SHODAN and continue?

Well if you make the choice to explore, you will come across something that tells you that SHODAN is more involved with what is going on than she wants you to believe, and that something is horribly, horribly wrong. Once you exit the room, SHODAN promptly removes your upgrades and says, ominously,

I hope you enjoyed your little rebellion, irritant. But remember, what SHODAN gives she is more than able to take away.

Damn, when creepy computer AIs start paraphrasing scripture, you know you've got problems. When she said that to me the first time, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Though by far the best quote that really epitomizes all that makes SHODAN at once a wonderful and terrifying villain can be summed up in this audio clip. (It's in the Ogg Vorbis format, so you'll need this codec to play it). There's also this collection of quotes from both SS and SS2. There are spoilers here, so be careful if you want to be completely surprised.

So why am I posting all this you ask yourself? Maybe it's pure sentiment for my past, like my post about Babylon 5. Maybe it's my revitalized interest in video games thanks to my Xbox 360. I think in truth it is closer to something in between. The main reason I am posting this is because Irrational Games (makers of the System Shock series), are making what they call a "spiritual successor" to SS2 called BioShock. Gamespot has a great retrospective on SS2 that really ties in with this concept.

Needless to say, I can't wait. It's supposed to come out in 2007 for PC and 360. It's set in the late 1960s, in an "intellectual utopia" community known as Rapture that just so happens to reside at the bottom of the ocean. You awaken floating in the ocean with survival the only goal in mind, and you soon find yourself trapped in this bizarre world (much like how you find yourself on the Von Braun, the spaceship you wakeup on in SS2) Game Informer had a feature on this game in the latest issue and am positively giddy with excitement. This is one of my gaming dreams come true (with the other being Freespace 3, but that's another story). While it's not System Shock 3, it is at least the same team that made SS2 and they are going to take the same concepts and game mechanics and mold them into a new game.

2007 can't get here fast enough.

I hate Valentine's Day...and cruises rule

I have the best girlfriend in the entire world. For many, many reasons. But the main one I wanted to mention is the fact that Jen doesn't like Valentine's Day. Hates it, in fact. Which is great for me because I don't have to do anything or plan anything special, jsut because someone said today is supposed to be romantic for no particular reason. And since our anniversery is on the 3rd of February anyway, it'd be kinda anticlimatic to do something extravagent 11 days later. Oh well.

On the brighter side, Jen and I are going on a cruise in March! I didn't think we'd be able to do a cruise because of airfare and all that, but I found a 3-day out of Los Angeles to Mexico for a great price! And if we leave early enough, we can just drive all day and then relax on the ship that night. Our itenerary looks like this:

• Friday (3/10): Depart from Los Angeles at 5:30pm
• Saturday: Arrive in Ensenada Mexico at 8:00am. Depart at 6:00pm.
• Sunday: Day at sea.
• Monday: Arrive back in LA at 8:00am

I'm really excited because this will be my first real vacation that I paid for myself. Makes me fell all grown up. :-P

Well that's all for now kids. Back to my Xbox 360. Gotta start rackin' up the points.

Google: Naughty BMW! Naughty! No page ranking for you!

So BMW thought that their "ultimate driving machine" status entitled them to try and cheat the "ultimate searching machine." It seems that BMW's German page (yup, their home country's page no less) used a trick called "doorway pages" which trick search engine ranking systems to make them value pages more highly. Right. Because BMW really NEEDS to let people know via Google about their cars. If this were Fark, this story would have the "dumbass" tag. So when Google found out about it, they issued the "Google Death Penalty" to the page. They gave the page a ranking of 0, effectively removing it from search results.

Check out the full story on Boing Boing.